Thursday, January 05, 2006

Moving Demented Parents out of their Home


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6 comments:

BiddyB said...

Michael, I was deeply moved by your reflections. Like you, I place great importance on the the nature of leave-taking, be that from a community, a job, a relationship or a home. I believe how we do that shapes the next stage of our life journey. For this reason, I think your grief for your parents is well placed. Maybe, you could talk to them about 'home', taking them back imaginatively. I wish you all well. Delia.

Berta said...

Michael, as a daughter whose father had to be moved to a nursing home, I could relate to that awkward feeling -so difficult to describe- that reminded me everyday I was the one responsible for making the decision. He spent Saturdays at my place for 6 years until he quietly passed away. He went back to his house several times and had got so used to the nursing home that after visiting my mom for a while, he would ask us to take him "home". Hope you and your parents are doing well.
Berta from Co-blog and BaW06

Michael said...

Thanks for these comments Berta. As it happens I was thinking I might take my father back to his real house tomorrow. It goes up for auction next week. Do I dare upset the apple cart - that's the question!

Berta said...

I had been away from all the mail lists for quite some time but I immediately remembered this post when I learned your dad had passed away. I hope you are able to "enjoy" the presence of your mom as much as possible. I had to make a tough decision this year since my mom is 88 and I had the opportunity to come to Toronto for my sabbatical.
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

Michael said...

Wow Berta you have a good memory! Thanks for your thoughts. My sister is in a similar situation to you as she has decided to go and live in the eUK for a few months. So it was kind of good timing for Mum (not my Dad) to die now. But it's actually going to be harder to enjoy Dad now that Mum has gone. Mum actually made visiting them more enjoyable. Sounds hard but that's the reality.

Berta said...

How terrible of me! My sincerest apologies. Is it a sign my short-term memory is not working well already? Or is it just that I stored it according to my own parental situation?
It is definitely a sad but appreciative love mix stage in our lives.