#3: Suicide Gaiety

 

Last week a long-time musical friend and I played a concert of our own songs at the Singing Gazebo. Our hosts were the wonderful Dave Clark and Kate Townsend.

The gig went well – people seemed to really enjoy it. Dave had recently released a book of his songs. 100 original folk tunes with a short potted history of a fascinating life and it has further motivated me to at least get down the lyrics to the songs I have written over the years here in this blog.

Song #3 in this collection is called Suicide Gaiety. I had never understood how anyone could contemplate suicide but after my girlfriend of several years dumped me I was distraught. I ran away to Melbourne and I remember sitting on a park bench somewhere thinking ‘now I understand why someone might contemplate killing themselves.’ I had never felt so low. I had no intention of doing it but at least I’d come to understand how someone might. This is the song that came from it. It’s obviously about how I was trying to drag myself out of self-pity. And succeeded it seems :) 1974. Aged 20.

 

SUICIDE GAIETY

These summer nights are here to stay

Ah but the world was goin’ my way

Looked at the sky and wandered round town

Sat on a bench and thought how to die

For I’ve forgotten my own name

Now matter how hard I try

Things don’t look the same

                Sat on a window sill and knew I couldn’t fly

                I’m not gonna hit the ground; I’m gonna hit the sky

                Hitch up to a parachute – that’s bound to work

                If not I’ll come on down like a stupid jerk

                Woman will you come with me?

    We’ll sail around the world

    We’ll go to see your home town in a wonderful balloon

I live in a world where all is OK

Managed to smile for most of the day

Worked it all through and left time to play

This happy song – I hope it sounds gay

For I remember my own name

No matter how hard I try

Things all look the same

    Sat on a window sill and knew I couldn’t fly

                I’m not gonna hit the ground; I’m gonna hit the sky

                Hitch up to a parachute that’s heading up that way

                If not I’ll come on down and take you right away

    In a wonderful balloon

    Painted orange like the summer sun in a fading summer sky

    We’ll blow a joint and dig the earth

And remember both our names

 

These summer nights are here to stay

These summer nights are here to stay

 

Song #2: Say Goodnight (1974)

We'll say good night - "good night"

We'll meet again in our dreams

Keep on lookin', never blind

Always know you're one to find 

And undefined in love

Wherever you go

Never knowin' what to say

Don't say anything at all my friend

Silence will keep you well

Never close your mind to it

You're young and in love 

With places to go

Are you wonderin' why you're sitting here?

There's so many places to go

You're not lookin',

Always blind

Are you really the one to find

The homes of our souls (the ends of our dreams)

And the places to go?

Say good night - "good night"

We'll meet again in our dreams

A young man's drivel? Perhaps. 20 years old and clearly doing some soul searching about who he wants to be. Seem to remember trying to resolve the desire to travel and also wanting a relationship. But he had clearly already learnt the value of silence.