Weligama - one of the greatest experiences of my life

I recently told a friend in Weligama, Sri Lanka, that my first visit there in 1981 was one of the greatest experiences of my life. He wrote back and asked me to explain why it was such a wonderful experience. These lyrics of a song I wrote at the time went some way to answering this question. Below are some further thoughts - not in any particular order.

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I was absolutely amazed that almost complete strangers would take me in as their friend and share their lives with me.

It was my first experience of living in a place where people lived ‘hand to mouth’. Titus, Walter and others went fishing every morning, got money for the fish at the fish market, and took it home to their wives who went shopping, and made food for the family for the next 24 hours. And then the cycle began again the next day. It taught me a great deal about life, and how simple it can be. And I saw that poor people can live a happy life if they enough food and a place for sleep and shelter.

I became a much more confident swimmer often swimming out to Louise’s island:

I realised that my skills as a musician were really valued. I did so much singing in Weligama!

People would often dance when I played guitar and sang. I felt like a troubadour!

It was my first experience living in a non-Christian culture and I learnt a lot about Buddhism. Titus and I would sometimes talk about the difference between Christianity and Buddhism.

Playing karam on the beach at night with Titus while drinking arak. Magic!

The huge surprise when we came back to Weligama one day and Titus had built us a cadjan house!

Amazing parties out on Louse’s island:

Playing with the children each day in the sea: 

I learnt that I was extraordinarily privileged. As Titus told me, “You can come here anytime you want, but I will never see your country.” Though fishing families in Weligama had enough food and a place to sleep and shelter they had no real freedom to move out of that world. Having spare money – money left over after you have paid for your house and food – is a huge luxury.

Louise and I had a magical visit to ‘the Prince’s island’  - Taprobane. There really was a prince living there and he happily invited us in and treated us to tea and cake! 

Taprobane: the Prince's Island

I learned that people in places like Weligama people do not like to be alone. People would often watch me read, or write in my journal!

I learned that when you live right by the sea the world is never silent. Every night I would fall asleep to the sounds of the waves breaking on the shore

I learned that poor people can be incredibly generous.

In memory of our dear friend Titus. 

Titus was far from perfect but he taught me much about life, I only wish he could have lived long enough for me to tell him. And all of this happened because one day he just stopped a stranger on the streets of Weligama and started talking with them. Rest in peace dear friend. 

Titus and Lilian in 'our' new house

 

 

 

Song #61 Lady Spider

 

LADY SPIDER

(listen HERE. A clearer version coming soon.)

Finally the memory of my first love has gone

I have lived so long in the past – that road is long

Then I met my Lady Elizabeth

         I met my Lady Spider

 

Yes I had lived so long in the past not knowing if I could

Ever feel so in love again – I contemplate your smile

Your smile Lady Elizabeth

Your smile my Lady Spider

 

I’d given up all thoughts of joy of a woman’s charms

I found a gem who held me close – in her loving arms

And I’ll hold you Lady Elizabeth

       I’ll hold you my Lady Spider

 

I feel the wind that blows between our searching souls

It will carry us near and far until we’re old

When I’ll hold you Lady Elizabeth

           I’ll hold you my Lady Spider

 

Whatever I do, whatever I say

You owe me nothing - but I want for you to stay

When you come towards me how can I hold back

And pretend I don’t care?

 

When I love you Lady Elizabeth

           I love you my Lady Spider

 

© Michael Coghlan 1991

 

COMMENTARY: I knew I’d written this song years ago but I couldn’t find the words or the music until recently. Happily I found a muffled but heartfelt old recording and I have relearnt this beautiful song. I love it.

Song #60 Shadows and Sunshine

 

SHADOWS AND SUNSHINE

Life is hell, life is fine

And you’re free and you’re mine

And I fear nothing ‘cept a day

That you may say you’re leaving

 

CHORUS (1)

Shadows and sunshine leading me somewhere

Shadows and sunshine turning me on

 

To a life that is full

Of a place where I know nothing

But today will not end

If I get my way

 

CHORUS (2)

Shadows and sunshine teaching me something

Shadows and sunshine telling me hold on, let go

 

Of a life where you feel

A great joy – like a boy

For a change you’ve arrived

In a place where you’ve got something to lose

 

And it scares the hell out of me

That I would have to go on

Knowing if she were to go

It would be harder than ever before

 

To go on like before

All alone on the shore

Through a life that is fine

Where you’d have nothing to lose

 

CHORUS (1)

Shadows and sunshine leading me somewhere

Shadows and sunshine turning me on

 

© Michael Coghlan 1991

 

Commentary:

Coming to terms with being happy! And being in a relationship I wanted to last and fearing that it wouldn’t. And at the same time preparing myself for the worst should it be necessary! I remember being happy with this song but have no idea how it went.

 

Listening; Still Learning

 

I read recently that The Dalai Lama says the best thing one can do to improve the world, even if you can’t do anything else, is to listen. In the last year or so I have also being trying to live more in line with the dictum ‘you have two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much as you talk’ but it’s hard. Especially as you get older.

What I never understood is that if you are halfway intelligent and live 50 years or more you are likely to have learned quite a bit. You have taken in and processed vast amounts of information, seen countless movies, read hundreds of books and articles, participated in probably thousands of conversations, and simply observed people for half a century or more. You see patterns repeated; you’ve seen what works in situations, and what doesn’t. You have been mulling things over for at least 50 years, and ipso facto, you probably know more about life and human behaviours that someone who is 30 years old because you simply have much more data to base your conclusions on – more conversations, more perspectives, more concerts, more songs, more travelling, more heartaches. So you feel that you know more than people much younger than yourself. And you want to share what you know with them. But in one of life’s strange twists of irony, no one really wants to know, especially those much younger than yourself, for they are busy discovering their own path and realisations about the world. And so they must.

But what does the halfway intelligent older person then do with all this insight? Just listen???? Just learn some more??? Apparently so according to The Dalai Lama.

Something else happens the longer you live: your standards creep imperceptibly higher. If you’ve heard 10 songs, watched 10 plays and 10 movies the chances of you coming across another song, play or movie that is better than these 10 is very high. If you have heard 1000 songs, seen a 1000 plays and movies, those chances are much smaller. Through long term exposure to many fields of human endeavour you develop a keen awareness of what constitutes excellence – quality of life, of relationships, of artefacts of entertainment, of a sunset, of a view, and in a very real sense you become spoiled. You have recognised magnificence in life – of architecture, of art, of writing - and learned that it is rare. So I can go along and listen to a band and I will enjoy it, but I can’t help but subconsciously compare it with the music I have heard in years gone by and it is way less likely, though not impossible, to be as enjoyable as music heard at concerts in the past because my standards have crept up. I am now harder to please. It is harder to be moved by music, by the spoken word, by a spectacular view – because you have already experienced true magnificence in these aspects of life, and know how unlikely it is that you will experience better.

 I guess one of the keys to a successful older life is, despite all the wonderful things you may have enjoyed in the past, to treat every day and every new experience as if it could be as good as anything you’ve ever enjoyed. To go into each new moment unfettered by expectations based on past experiences. And listen 😊